And I mean it. Not Man up, WOMAN up! Be a real woman and set some standards. Stick to them. Work on your self-esteem please. Where am I going with this right?
Cheating. Particularly men cheating. It's almost laughable, the fact that it is a given...it will go down. My girlfriends go through it, my sisters, myself, my mother. As a recently single woman, I'm feeling discouraged. In the last 5 months I have been approached by many men. 2 (TWO) of them have been single! And the crazy 2010 part of this game that has me totally thrown is that the rest of them didn't even try to lie about it! They don't even lie about it anymore ladies! My friend Krys and I are like 'whoa'. They say things like 'oh I thought you knew'. ??? How?
But I digress....back to my point. This cheating thing is age old. It ain't going anywhere. Why? Not just because men will do it, but because WOMEN WILL CONTINUE TO LET THEM. LET THEM. LET THEM. LET THEM. LET THEM. LET THEM. LET THEM. Get it? At this point, it IS our fault girls. We are teaching these men how to treat us. They will get away with only what we allow them to get away with. My dear ladies let me clue you into something ----- WE have the juice. Ok? WE have the power. This cycle has got to stop. Woman fall in love, man cheats, woman stays, man cheats again, woman hurts and resents and stays, man cheats again because the atmosphere at home is no longer exciting and loving and she's bitter and man loves new woman's energy and old woman has low self-esteem now, oh and new woman has low-self esteem because the new man said he has a woman but I like you better but because new woman's man cheated too her self-worth is compromised so she accepts the taken man and the old woman wont let him go so he wont leave but he'll continue to cheat because she's so miserable at home.....whuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhh - wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew. I just exhaled.
My point is this: Practice saying 'no'. Everytime we say 'no' to a married man or a taken man, we just took away another opportunity to cheat. IF every woman did this, who's left to cheat with. There have to be some standards set. Believe or not, men want you to have them. I truly don't even believe they're enjoying how easy it's become for them. Women, we are the mothers of civilization. WE birth and raise our men. We hold down our households emotionally. We are the backbone. We are strong. Women, FIND YOUR STRENGTH. Pray on it. Work on your self-esteem. I believe it begins and ends right there! Love yourself more than that married or taken man. Respect that man's woman more than you respect those 'sweet nothings'. Sure, you don't know her, but she could be you. Get into it.
Ok last thought....stop saying "there are no good men out there". Don't believe the hype. This thinking will keep you shackled in bitter resentment and will encourage diminished standards. Instead, be a better woman. How about that. Stop worrying about these men and BE A BETTER WOMAN. Be healthy spiritually, emotionally, physically. Walk with confidence. Smile and stop frowning. Speak to other women when you pass. Yes, men have issues. But the blame game is played. WOMAN UP!
-ttyl
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Muhammad Execution: Why Did He Do It?
So it's all over for the DC sniper tonight. I still don't know how I feel about it. Obviously the man (John Allen Muhammad) is severely disturbed to have senselessly taken the lives of so many innocent people. I've just seen other pending executions take MUCH longer to actualize. Maybe it's just me.
Maybe it's because there are still no real answers as to why. And what we have heard is confusing. Lee Boyd Malvo, Muhammad's accomplice, said Muhammad wanted to use the plot to extort $10 million from the government to set up a camp in Canada where homeless children would be trained as terrorists. What? Why? The guy did spend a good amount of time in the military so I'm just going to blame it on that. This is nuts too...Muhammad's ex-wife says she believes the attacks were a smoke screen for his plan to kill her and regain custody of their three children. Is that what she got? I didn't get that. Muhammad seemed pretty ruthless. I mean the man outfitted a car so that his teenage shooter could hide in the trunk and shoot through a hole....completely unsuspecting. That said, I'd think if he wanted to kill her and take the kids, he probably would've just done that.
So still, no one really knows why he did it. Muhammad has never testified or explained why he directed the attacks. It's very sad. Especially for the victim's families...he'll die tonight but they may never get the closure they need. They'll never know why.
Muhammad is to die by lethal injection tonight at 9 p.m. Malvo is serving life in prison without parole. The death penalty was ruled out as he was 17 at the time of the fatal shootings.
-ttyl, toya
Maybe it's because there are still no real answers as to why. And what we have heard is confusing. Lee Boyd Malvo, Muhammad's accomplice, said Muhammad wanted to use the plot to extort $10 million from the government to set up a camp in Canada where homeless children would be trained as terrorists. What? Why? The guy did spend a good amount of time in the military so I'm just going to blame it on that. This is nuts too...Muhammad's ex-wife says she believes the attacks were a smoke screen for his plan to kill her and regain custody of their three children. Is that what she got? I didn't get that. Muhammad seemed pretty ruthless. I mean the man outfitted a car so that his teenage shooter could hide in the trunk and shoot through a hole....completely unsuspecting. That said, I'd think if he wanted to kill her and take the kids, he probably would've just done that.
So still, no one really knows why he did it. Muhammad has never testified or explained why he directed the attacks. It's very sad. Especially for the victim's families...he'll die tonight but they may never get the closure they need. They'll never know why.
Muhammad is to die by lethal injection tonight at 9 p.m. Malvo is serving life in prison without parole. The death penalty was ruled out as he was 17 at the time of the fatal shootings.
-ttyl, toya
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Little Boy Lost
Two for One today. I just finished watching the Chris Brown interview on MTV. I’m much less impressed with him. I don’t believe him. Don’t you get that feeling? It all seems insincere. His answers to these questions…. I’m getting zero depth. He seems over it and void of any genuine remorse.
Seriously…tweeting pics of yourself working the community service bid…caption: “check out my outfit”…? Yeah Chris, you’re so apologetic…we’re so sure. The big ‘Oops’ chain? Wow. For those of you that missed it, this kid wore a gaudy, blinged out chain with the word “oops” hanging. Chris says it was made before the incident. Mmm hmm.
He’s smug and ignorant. He’s clueless of the gravity of his actions. He still thinks he’s cute. It’s not cute brotha.
Now, a show of my heart. He is not a monster. He is a child, most likely afflicted with posttraumatic stress disorder. I do believe his stories of childhood domestic abuse exposure. I do believe he’s harboring unresolved issues. I believe the kid has issues! He needs help. Focusing on romancing the media should be of his least concern right now. Who’s with me?
-ttyl, toya
Seriously…tweeting pics of yourself working the community service bid…caption: “check out my outfit”…? Yeah Chris, you’re so apologetic…we’re so sure. The big ‘Oops’ chain? Wow. For those of you that missed it, this kid wore a gaudy, blinged out chain with the word “oops” hanging. Chris says it was made before the incident. Mmm hmm.
He’s smug and ignorant. He’s clueless of the gravity of his actions. He still thinks he’s cute. It’s not cute brotha.
Now, a show of my heart. He is not a monster. He is a child, most likely afflicted with posttraumatic stress disorder. I do believe his stories of childhood domestic abuse exposure. I do believe he’s harboring unresolved issues. I believe the kid has issues! He needs help. Focusing on romancing the media should be of his least concern right now. Who’s with me?
-ttyl, toya
Good Girl Grown Up
I'm surprisingly impressed with Rihanna. I just watched her interview with Diane Sawyer on 20/20. I missed it Friday night because I have an amazingly active social life with fans and rockstar status....lol! I watched the interview online instead this afternoon.
I think I said "wow" out loud twice. Rihanna is a smart girl. Woman. I wanted to believe that she'd just been well coached... maybe by Oprah. Eventually I was sold. She had much more depth to her than I'd imagined she would. She was so poised. She was eloquent. She seems strong. I felt pangs of guilt. I, like others, believed that she must have provoked Chris Brown. I thought she must have hit him first. I thought she went ghetto-girl crazy on him and he had no choice but to light her up. I don't believe that at all anymore.
Rihanna talked about that night in as much detail as she was comfortable remembering. Apparently there was a text message from Chris' ex. She said she pressed him for answers about the contents of the text. A heated argument ensued, then came the blackout. Diane rattled off the list of injuries from a police report. She read them to Rihanna as if Rihanna wasn't in that car with her lip on the opposite side of Chris' fist. I get it. We're journalists. That's part of Diane's job; to remind viewers of the horrific details and boost ratings. It's still annoying though.
So Rihanna sits back with legs crossed and takes it. She can't be shaken it seems. She admits that she was deeply in love. She admits that she maintained a relationship with Chris, post-beating. She talked about the abuse of her mother at the hands of her father and Chris' mother's abuse at the hands of his stepfather. She spoke about her hope for Chris career and future - without her. Rihanna, with tears in her eyes, says now she's focused on positively influencing other women, young girls in particular. She felt she'd be essentially endorsing domestic violence if she stayed with her abuser.
Rihanna says she was so in love. Deep in love. These days she says "ef love, love is blind". I'm just glad Rihanna's not. Good girl.
-ttyl, toya
I think I said "wow" out loud twice. Rihanna is a smart girl. Woman. I wanted to believe that she'd just been well coached... maybe by Oprah. Eventually I was sold. She had much more depth to her than I'd imagined she would. She was so poised. She was eloquent. She seems strong. I felt pangs of guilt. I, like others, believed that she must have provoked Chris Brown. I thought she must have hit him first. I thought she went ghetto-girl crazy on him and he had no choice but to light her up. I don't believe that at all anymore.
Rihanna talked about that night in as much detail as she was comfortable remembering. Apparently there was a text message from Chris' ex. She said she pressed him for answers about the contents of the text. A heated argument ensued, then came the blackout. Diane rattled off the list of injuries from a police report. She read them to Rihanna as if Rihanna wasn't in that car with her lip on the opposite side of Chris' fist. I get it. We're journalists. That's part of Diane's job; to remind viewers of the horrific details and boost ratings. It's still annoying though.
So Rihanna sits back with legs crossed and takes it. She can't be shaken it seems. She admits that she was deeply in love. She admits that she maintained a relationship with Chris, post-beating. She talked about the abuse of her mother at the hands of her father and Chris' mother's abuse at the hands of his stepfather. She spoke about her hope for Chris career and future - without her. Rihanna, with tears in her eyes, says now she's focused on positively influencing other women, young girls in particular. She felt she'd be essentially endorsing domestic violence if she stayed with her abuser.
Rihanna says she was so in love. Deep in love. These days she says "ef love, love is blind". I'm just glad Rihanna's not. Good girl.
-ttyl, toya
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
I just wanted to talk about it some more...
Let's just say that Donna, Felicia, Shenay and I didn't want to go to class. Because Dr. Cornel West lives and loves out loud, he makes you want to follow suit. He graced the stage of Wilder Hall at Norfolk State University on Tuesday, November 3rd. Thanks Felicia for the last minute 'heads up'!
Dr. West is humble. He sat unassumingly as the MC listed his accomplishments, his contributions, his victories. When he took the mic, he praised the MC's success as we praise him. He's humble.
Instant energy, as soon as he spoke. He booms! He is connected to his audience. And he's funny and he's cool. Like I would love to hang out with him. Dr. West feeds you constantly. Your knowledge tank will overflow in his presence. He told us to be "set on fire" when we left that auditorium. He told us to feel dissatisfied...for it was the only way to remain committed to the fight for justice. He told us to be 'jazz women and jazz men'...'blues women and blues men'. Dr. West says "no one is self-made". He means we need eachother. We can't win alone. I agree.
I'm going to get his latest cd - 'Never Forget'. It's a compliation of socially conscience music featuring Jill Scott, Talib Kweli and a host of others. West says next, he'll be getting funky with George Clinton. I told you Dr. Cornel West was cool.
Like I said, I had to leave for class. I had to give a presentation. If anybody happened to record the entire lecture, please forward it to your sister.
-ttyl, toya
Dr. West is humble. He sat unassumingly as the MC listed his accomplishments, his contributions, his victories. When he took the mic, he praised the MC's success as we praise him. He's humble.
Instant energy, as soon as he spoke. He booms! He is connected to his audience. And he's funny and he's cool. Like I would love to hang out with him. Dr. West feeds you constantly. Your knowledge tank will overflow in his presence. He told us to be "set on fire" when we left that auditorium. He told us to feel dissatisfied...for it was the only way to remain committed to the fight for justice. He told us to be 'jazz women and jazz men'...'blues women and blues men'. Dr. West says "no one is self-made". He means we need eachother. We can't win alone. I agree.
I'm going to get his latest cd - 'Never Forget'. It's a compliation of socially conscience music featuring Jill Scott, Talib Kweli and a host of others. West says next, he'll be getting funky with George Clinton. I told you Dr. Cornel West was cool.
Like I said, I had to leave for class. I had to give a presentation. If anybody happened to record the entire lecture, please forward it to your sister.
-ttyl, toya
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
